Busy, Busy

I think about blogging a lot more than I actually blog.  Sorry about that I've been busy lately.  I have found that i now keep house when before I did not.  I think that living in the Airstream had a lot to do with that.  I find myself unable to walk by a sink full of dishes without washing them when before I would "get to them later."  It's strange to me and I think I might be nesting, I am almost thirty now and this could be the first ticks of a biological clock that I never thought I had. 

Tonight didn't start well, I locked my keys in my truck and had to call a locksmith to get them out.  We I say I locked them in there when technically the truck locked them in for me.  I should never set my keys on the bumper, I will post a photo later. 

Took the kids over to the coffee house and my night started to improve.  We had a poet come to read for them and they were all given the opportunity to read some of their own poetry.  I was surprised when they took turns reading most of the night.  They badgered me for a while knowing that I was once a poet I felt badly because I didn't have anything to read for them.  I felt as though I was asking them to share when I myself did not have the courage to do the same. 

This guilt forced me to write a short poem and read it for them.  It wasn't anything to writ home about but I did throw together something fairly decent for them to hear.  I guess it's a start.  I hope that it's enough of a jump start for me to begin finding my voice again. 

Every day is a new day and hopefully today I allows me to begin anew. 

At Home

We're finally all moved in at the Tulsa house and there is barely anything left at the house in OKC.  What is left resides mostly in the garage.  Winter clothes, holiday decorations and that sort of thing.  There isn't really much there, other than the furniture we purchased seven years ago, that makes it still feel like home.  It's strange for me right now, because the house in OKC will always be our first house, and we put so much work into it for so long that it will always feel like home.  Years from now I'll drive by that house and our keys will no longer fit in the locks, but it will still feel like our house.  It feels like our house now, but it no longer feels like home to me. 

I don't know if it feels like home to Wynn still, but I am beginning to doubt it.  We want to keep both houses and financially we can keep them both quite comfortably, since we do have a roommate living in the house in OKC, but now that we have made a commitment to live in Tulsa fulltime I'm not sure if we actually will end up keeping both.  Wynn will eventually have to go back to OKC to go to med school and it would be nice to still have the house in OKC for her to live in while she gets both her MD and her PhD, but for now I have to at least finish my BS in Social Work first.  As it stands I am taking the gen ed courses that I neglected to take and I'm not sure how much longer I actually have before I will graduate. 

That reminds me, I have to go to NSU Broken Arrow with my OSU transcript soon to find our just how much longer getting my BS will take. 

Things certainly came together quickly like they always do.  Wynn and I always talk things to death and then suddenly we make them happen as if out of the blue.  It's nice to feel as though I currently have everything that I wanted last year, but I wonder what will happen next year. 

Dry Spell

We're all moved in now, there are boxes still laying around and loads of laundry to finish.  We still need to buy desks for our office and bookcases for the myriads of books I have stored in Oklahoma City, but technically we now live in a house.  The Airstreamer Era is over for Wynn and I.  The Airstream is now sitting at a storage place between a gutted bus and an 85 primer gray Chevy Silverado.  It's like a graveyard of sorts and part of me feels guilty for keeping such a beautiful piece of history there, but it is the practical thing to do.

The Airstream is for sale and I know, I know, post photos.  I will, I've taken them, they're on the IPhone and I may post them tonight if I'm not too busy at work.  I shouldn't be, the kids will be in bed by the time I clock in and aside from finishing a spreadsheet for my boss, I don't really have much I need to do other than homework, but neither of those tasks should take eight hours.

I have hit a rather dry spell lately with the blogging and all of the writing I do.  It's as though I don't feel like I need it to cope anymore like I did in the Airstream.  There are so many other things that I could be doing, like making my own bread in the bread maker I bought at the Goodwill for $4 the other day, or reading.

Currently reading: The Bell Jar, Sylvia Plath
Currently listening to: The Clicks
Would really like to be reading:  The Things They Carried,  Tim O'Brien
Movie I'd like to watch: Apocalypse Now

Frustration

Yes, tomorrow is move in day and I am very excited about moving into our awesome little rent house here in town.  It's going to be chaotic due to the fact that there is not enough room in the Airstream to pack before we move.  I am alright with the chaos because I know that it is just a part of the process. 

My frustration has absolutely nothing to do with anything that is currently going on in my life.  My frustration comes from a small quiet voice deep inside that becomes louder with each post I make on this blog.  This small voice keeps telling me that in a literary sense my voice has changed. 

Let me go back a few years for those of you who aren't sure what I mean.  I am a writer before anything else that  I do professionally.  I am a poet who has lost her ability to write poetry; I'm not sure that it is actually gone I am only sure that I can no longer find it.  I am sure it was there once just over a decade ago, I know I had talent and promise, but I somehow feel as though I have squandered it.  If I knew just what went wrong I could find it again and I could write again. 

In 1999 I auditioned and was accepted into the Oklahoma Summer Arts Institute, my poetry, my ability beat out several other high school students in Oklahoma.  In 2000 I was accepted again but even at the audition I felt as though my ability to write poetry was slipping away, little did I know that by August of that year it would be totally gone, or if not gone unreachable. 

By the time I entered college in the fall of 2000 I knew it was gone and at the protests of my friends and some of my professors I refused to pursue an English or Creative Writing degree because of this.  I tried desperately to write again on an almost constant basis.  I tried so often that it affected my ability to concentrate in class or do homework.  I enrolled in as many English courses as I could, in hopes that they would somehow force me into writing poetry again. 

They didn't, even as much as I wanted them to. 

I ended up dropping out of college a few years later and because I didn't have a degree I had to work in jobs that forced me to dumb myself down for the sake of the customers and even my coworkers.  I feel like the years that I spent doing so caused me to lose my voice.  As I read my previous posts and look at the language and punctuation used, I feel as though they were not written by me.  I feel as though their style and grammar are remedial.  I feel as though any refinement I once had is gone. 

I am just so frustrated by it. 

I am not going to stop blogging because of my current frustration.  I'm just going to keep plugging away post after post, in hopes that my voice will start to come back.  I just wish it weren't too much to ask to one day be able to sit down and write poetry once again.  I miss the release and the satisfaction that I used to feel after completing that final stanza and knowing that what I had just produced was quality work and not just some remedial sophomoric drivel. 

Save The Admiral Twin Drive In

I've been busy again, but I'm still blogging when I have time.  It's been a rough few days here lately.  I had a birthday on the first and Wynn and I have been busy looking for things for the house.  We move in six days so things are starting to get a bit hectic.  We went to a furniture auction yesterday but we were out bid on everything, but we have a bed and I know of some free furniture stashed away at a family member's house a few miles away so that will do for now.  Oh I made an A on the Biology test last week, so that's awesome.

Here's what's not so awesome.  One of the last drive in theaters in the US burned on the second.  I loved this place it was just down the road from where the Airstream is parked and only a few miles from Route 66.  One of my favorite movies was filmed there, The Outsiders, and the theater was still in operation after all of these years and I had planned to try to make The Outsiders Festival on the last day of the season.

I'm still devastated by the loss of this historic structure.

It was just the screen but the screen was not insured.  It was a nine foot wooden frame structure that no one would insure and it was a total loss within ten or twenty minutes.  No one knows for sure how it caught fire, I personally think it was arson.  It had recently rained and there were no electron components in the structure.

There has been an out pouring of support by the people of Tulsa and it looks as though the Admiral Twin will be rebuilt and open again by next season.  Wynn and I plan to attend a benefit to raise money for the Admiral Twin on October 10th at the Rose Bowl another historic Route 66 attraction.  

I hope that someday soon the Admiral Twin will be showing movies at dusk like it always has before.

Gratuitious Outsiders still taken from one of the scenes filmed at the Admiral Twin.  

Sorry, I've Been Busy

I've had a lot of homework lately and I just really haven't been on the computer much.  There isn't a lot going on right now, we're just waiting to move and looking at furniture.  We've bought a bed and I've located some free furniture that we need to go and look at, but that's basically all.  I have a test in Biology on Thursday and even though I've been studying around 4 to 10 hours a night I still don't feel prepared for it.  I'll let ya'll know how it goes.  I really think I'm just over thinking things lately, but I can't be too careful when it comes to school.  I need to start getting my gpa back up now so I can get into grad school in a couple of years.

When something exciting happens I'll let ya'll know and when I have time to sit down and recall some more Airstream moments I'll get that done too.

Vintage Airstream For Sale

So here it is, I still can't believe I'm typing this.  Our Airstream that has been our Tulsa home for two years is For Sale.

Price: $4000

Specs:

1972 Airstream Sovereign Land Yacht International dual axle travel trailer, 7500lbs dry weight, 9000lbs loaded.  Trailer comes with hitch and original EZ stabilizer bar kit.
32ft Rear bath mid-ship bunk with large closets and credenza.
Vista View windows.
Skin is in excellent condition one minor ding that is barely noticeable.  She has ghost numbers and a ghost of a Wally Byam Travel Club sticker just above them.
Under skin is also fully intact and stiff walled newer trailer tires with plenty of tread.
All four jacks are in perfect working condition.
All four original hubcaps
Brand new Carrier AC/ Heat unit installed Spring of 2010
Original Dometic propane refrigerator
Original Dometic propane cook top
Original Magic Chef oven
Original double basin stainless steel sink.
Original lounge gaucho sofa bed
Original radio and control panel
All curtains and blinds intact
Original rock guard
Original aluminum propane takes and regulator.  Propane takes have been converted to match OPD specifications.
Original bathroom fixtures, tub and hand flush Thetford toilet.
All closet doors are intact.
Tambor doors are a bit rough but most of them are intact and working.
New RV plug installed last month July of 2010.
New rugs in December of 2009.
Linoleum floors throughout.
Non working hot water heater, may just need a part but we were unable to tow it to an RV shop due to the fact that we lived in it.  The door is still intact and may be fabricated to fit a new hot water heater if one is needed.
Forced air furnace with ducting throughout the inside and the under skin of the trailer.
The electronics of the furnace were replaced in October of 2008 and she blows hot.
This model has four closets, two bureaus under the credenza and two huge pantries in the kitchen.
It also has plenty of overhead storage in the bunk and in the kitchen and bathroom and under bed storage under the gaucho and the bunk.

She is definitely tow-able and livable.  As a reminder I am sitting in the bunk looking into the kitchen as I type this up and she has been our Tulsa home for the last two years as stated above.

She will also be listed on Craig's List, RV Trader and the Airforums.  Leave a comment with contact information and I will get back to you as soon as I can.  She will not be available before September13th and she will be moved to a storage facility as of the 16th.  We will show her at both locations once we have moved our things into our new home.

Photos to come soon.